Putting the V First

Here’s a story old as time. Boy meets girl. Boy charms girl and buys her drinks at his local dive bar/club. Girl accept drinks, flirts, and goes home with boy. The chitty chitty bang bang commences and boy cums. Scene ends. You’ve all heard this story or some version of this story before. I, as a fellow lady in training (meaning I don’t feel like a trained lady yet) understand the seemingly unchangeable narrative of heterosexual encounters. Whenever the lad hath cometh, the fun also seems to end. It is not surprising that I have met many many girls who have not even experienced the holy experience of climaxing. I don’t know if any of you are that surprised by this but I’ve heard this consensus from girls who are sexually active and participating in casual sex.

What’s the hold up ladies? There is a beautiful thing called masturbation, flicking the bean, saucing the taco, taming the shrew, a lil’ me time, and whatever crazy code name you come up for it. I personally did not learn about this magical process until I was about in high school. I know. I bloomed later than the rest. But, once I did start I never stopped. The more you spend time with your own body the more aware on what to do when there is another sexy body. It’s called educating yourself. There’s so much stigma around it, especially for females because we are not meant to be sexually independent according to society’s viewpoint. I say this is 2017 people. It is time we own our bodies and our orgasms. How you ask.

There are some methods I’ve learned over the years among many sexy encounters that I will share with you now. For one, know what you like. This may sound simple but it takes time and research to find the things that make you flutter over the ones that make you fall asleep. It might not even be anything physical. It might be the lighting of a room. Maybe hearing someone speak dirty to you in a different language. Or even having somebody else watch you. Who know’s? Seriously, there are so many crazy things out there it is probably impossible to try them all  but start somewhere. Ask friends or ask google but be warned that google most times is unfiltered and people be freaky on the inter-web. A lot of aspects about what makes you orgasm is psychological so a good place to start is how you view sex and what does it mean to you? If it’s any other reason than sharing a fun, mutually beneficial, and pleasurable experience than maybe you should rethink the ways sex plays into the way you experience life and others. Even if you are into BDSM or something like that, both parties are encouraged to be pleasured. Another method is do the job yourself. Just because he came and presents himself as therefore useless, doesn’t you have to be done with. If a guy has finished and just lays there, I quickly get to work to finishing myself off. The guy usually is watching or trying kiss you or something of that sort. I know, it’s a pretty risque move but I’m happy at the end and usually the guy is pretty turned on with what you have done and most likely find the desire to go again. Trust me, I am telling you from personal experience. The thing about this move is that it’s not my way of saying that I don’t need the other person. For me, sex doesn’t always need to end in climaxing for it to be a pleasurable or enjoyable experience but there are times that I want to get off and it’s perfectly reasonable for you, yourself to know how to do that rather than the guy you met a couple hours ago. Also, do not be afraid to ask your dude or lady to spend time with your vjay. The vjay is as important as the D cuz without it Obama wouldn’t have been born. Just think about that for a minute and be empowered by the fact that your vjay is an almighty life force that needs to be honored and if your person can’t do that then hell, they are saying no to tasting life. Feminist, you say? Sure, but I just think expecting somebody else over yourself to get this particular deed done is pretty unreasonable. Real life isn’t a movie and we aren’t living 50 shades of grey people. Maybe there are but this doesn’t apply to those lucky bastards. Last method, but more of an advice. Be more open minded. To be less vague, be open to the idea that sex is changing. I don’t mean in a weird metamorphosis way but what I mean is be open to the thought that what turns you on can change. That is normal. What would be weird is if the Justin Beiber poster that turned you on when you are 12 still turns you on when you are 22 is pretty fucking weird. Nothing against the Beibs but girlfriend you need to move on to men. I would’ve never imagine all the things that I like today to have liked even a year ago. But as everything else that is growing within us, our sexuality grows too. Experiment and get on with your bad selves! But be safe! Don’t be having babies and diseases now. And use lube, you will thank me.


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